Class Discussion 2/5/13

“Sorry, but it’s hard to tell who is serious and who is just looking for a good time when a majority of the time we’re made into sexual objects by a stranger.” –Victoria Uwumarogie

Our discussion about sexual violence last Tuesday reminded me of a blog post by Victoria Uwumarogie I came  across a few weeks ago. I thought this post was interesting because it describes how an African American woman responds to being treated as an object by men throughout her life.  Additionally, this article reminded me of most women are socialized to be fearful and thought how to avoid being raped.The most interesting part of this post is the comment section because many women (of different races) describe how they deal with and feel about being hit on aggressively by men.

Some of my favorite comments include:

“It’s not even about them having to try harder. It’s about the creep factor for me. The hollers, the stares, they all make you feel like you have to lock the doors when you get in. The mean face is mostly to hide how creeped out I get when some guy I never met is in my personal space, touching me and acting like he knows me. Please don’t think you should get that close to any woman you just saw on the street. Maybe it’s ok in the club (you can’t even hear unless you’re close there) but never in the street, on the bus, or some other normal public place. I’m serious, I have mace and I will use it.”–C. D.

“I completely agree sunshine….I mean as a young woman I was taught by my mother and grandmother not to walk around smiling at men and strangers….IT might be a southern thing. I don’t know. But Unless you are genuinely interested in a man you see coming up to make conversation and seeing where his head is. I would refrain from smiling and making goo goo eyes at every dude that pay a compliment….that’s just asking for trouble. I hate to be such a worry wort. But that’s just the level of caution i have…I’m not starved for attention from men that I need them all to approach me. Its a safety issue for me. Men y’all can do that cus y’all can fight…But this man smiling at me might have a rope and a knife waiting in his back pocket for me…NAAA IM GOOD.”–Y.

“There is a way to tell a woman she is attractive in a classy way without setting one’s self up to come across as inappropriate. Since this subject has the spotlight on Black men as those making such advances i can say that I’ve seen this accomplished many times. I think that it depends on the upbringing of the man and his relationship with women he is close to in his own life.” B.




2 Responses to “Class Discussion 2/5/13”

  1. cswaller says:

    I thought these comments were interesting because they remind me of some of the conversations I’ve had with my friends. It’s always uncomfortable-and a bit creepy-to be approached aggressively or suggestively by a stranger. Also, it’s unfortunate that many women have to worry about going out in public by themselves.

  2. tciteron says:

    Very interesting testimonials, Shelly. Thanks for sharing. What is your reaction to them?